Selfishly Unselfish
by Torqueo Animadverto
Summary: Rachel Morgan's point of view of when she got the call about her husband, and Cammie's father.


**This is a story idea that I have had stuck in my head all day. I could not function in my classes until I at least wrote it down on paper, causing me to get "Silent Lunch." You better be thankful. In the books, I don't think it ever mentioned Cammie's dad's name, or what mission he was on when he died, or how old Cammie was when he died, so I'm just making it up. **

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed. Forever. **

I woke up to the sound of my beautiful eight year old daughter bouncing on the unoccupied side of the king- sized bed. A soft trickle of sun light was shining through the blinds of our Washington D.C. home. As I was about to turn to see what Cammie needed her face was suddenly in mine, and her blue eyes were wide with excitement, and I quickly realized that she either figured out the new NSA codes that I had brought home to entertain her, or she realized that her father was coming home today. I would be happy on both accounts, but I have to be a little selfish once in a while. I am more excited to see John. Whenever he was "away," I longed for the way the back of his hand always ran softly against my cheeks. I have been married to him for ten years, but our love still hadn't waned. We still loved each other as much as we did when we were newlywed's. I turned to face her when she backed her face away, realizing that I was awake. 

"Are you excited that daddy's coming home today?" I asked with a big smile on my face. I knew that Cammie loved me, but she was a daddy's girl. When she was younger she would cry, and cry when being held by anyone else, but her dad. She would not eat her food unless her father fed it to her, and I stressed to him one day that she had to outgrow this, no matter how happy it made him. When she got older, he would be "out of town, "for business" more and I didn't want my little girl starving. 

Cammie quickly nodded her head, and her hair went everywhere. 

"I want to tell him that I figured out those new NSA codes you brought home." Ah, so it was both. 

"I'm sure he'll be very happy." I said truthfully. He was always proud of Cammie's accomplishments, as was I. 

"Do you want to make me breakfast now Momma?" She asked bashfully. She was always so selfless. She got that from her father, and I wished to be like that. John was always _asking_ me whether I wanted to get out of bed, or if I wanted to have our friend, Joe Solomon, over to dinner. I wished so much that I could be like that. 

I smiled. "Yes sweetie, I'd love to make you breakfast. What do you want to eat?" I questioned getting out of the bed. 

She grabbed my hand, and we started for our small kitchen. 

"Well," She started, opening the pantry door. "I want eggs, and bacon, and biscuits!" She said excitedly. This was her favorite thing to eat. Not just for breakfast, but for every meal. John always said the most lethal thing about me was my cooking, so I hoped I wouldn't mess up this meal. I got out the eggs, and the rest of the food, and started cooking.

My hands were shaking a little bit when I scrambled the eggs. I started to wonder why; I had been a spy since I was seventeen, therefore I was trained not to be nervous. Then, I remembered why. This was one of the toughest missions John had ever been on. They sent him to Prague to weed out a informant for the Russians. This person was in the CIA also, and was working for the Russian government. John had chose our good friend Joe Solomon to go with him on his assignment, and they were wrapping a little bit of it up, then they would be home by tonight. He had been on so many missions, and a little bit of training to prepare for this, but this agent was experienced. He had been with the CIA for fifteen years, and as far as we knew with the Russians for two. Who knew what kind of training was taking place there. 

"Momma, I think the breakfast is done!" Cammie screeched, snapping my mind back to the present. Apparently I had been so wrapped up in my thought I had managed to burn the eggs, and the bacon at the same time. Smoke was curling in the room, above the pan, and the smoke alarm was beeping.

"Sorry sweetie!" I yelled softly. I opened up all the windows in the kitchen, letting the wind from the cold December air carry away the smoke. When all the smoke was cleared out, and I had made sure Cammie was okay, I looked at the food, and saw that it was charcoal black. 

"How about we have some cereal sweetie?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't be so distraught at the loss of her favorite food. 

"Okay Momma. That's fine." Again, she was so selfless. 

I walked over to the pantry and grabbed the Lucky Charms, and Life cereal. Her two favorites. She liked to mix both of them together. Then I went to the fridge and got out the milk. She hopped up on the counter to get a bowl. She swung her little legs around so she was sitting on the counter, with her legs hanging over it. She set the bowl down, and quickly grabbed the milk, and cereal, and poured herself a bowl, while I got my own bowl down, and poured myself some. We ate almost in complete silence aside from the sound of us chewing our cereal. Cammie was swinging her legs, and as soon as she was finished she jumped off the counter, landing perfectly on her feet. She would make a great spy if she chose to pursue that way of life. Cammie quickly put her empty bowl in the sink and ran into the living room to watch a little bit of television. John and I had decided to home school Cammie until she was old enough to go to the Gallagher Academy. The curriculum was the toughest in the world, and she would have to be prepared. Regular public school just wasn't doing that good of a job. I walked into the living room where Cammie was watching the Discovery Channel's, Cash Cab. She watched intently as the host, Ben Bailey asked the first one hundred dollar question. 

"Name three of the four sons of Mosiah." He asked while driving to the destination of the passengers. 

The passengers hesitated, and the pause was enough for Cammie to jump in and answer the question herself.

"Ammon, Aaron, Omner, and Himni." She recited correctly. I was shocked that my eight year old daughter knew this. The passengers got the question wrong, and she rolled her eyes. A commercial for Rogaine came on. The phone suddenly let out a shrill ring, and she jumped up and ran to get it. John and I normally didn't let Cammie answer the phone, considering our line of work, but I was still in shock to react quickly. 

"Hello?" I heard her ask. 

She came into the room with a perplexed look on her face, and mouthed _It's for you._ I went into the kitchen and grabbed the phone from where she set it one the counter. I heard the pitter patter of her little feet as she ran off to her bedroom, always eager to learn something. 

"Hello?" I questioned. The familiar voice of Joe Solomon came on the line, and I knew something was wrong. 

"Rachel?" He asked. 

"Yeah Joe, it's me. What's up?" I questioned, slightly sweating. 

"Rachel," He paused, his voice becoming slightly husky. "Rachel, something happened." He continued in a shaky voice. I had known Joe for ten years, and never had I heard him like this. 

"What Joe? What happened?" I asked impatiently. He said the three words I never wanted to hear. 

"He got made." 

The phone fell from my clammy hands, and I felt a slightly burning sensation in my nose, which I knew meant that I would begin crying soon. I faintly heard him call out my name a few times, but I didn't care. Tears started rolling down my cheeks, but I knew I couldn't grieve yet. I still had to tell Cammie. How difficult it would be to tell her, I did not know. What I did know though, was that I had to become, the most unselfish person ever known. I still wanted my time to grieve, though. To be human. But, I knew that being a mom came first, and I knew what I had to be. 

Selfishly, unselfish. That is what I had to be. 


End file.
